What is the best age for marriage? Both parents and young adults ask this question quite often, each wanting to make sure that new couples establish their marriages upon the strongest foundation of life experience, maturity, as well as educational and financial security.
There is not a great wealth of research on the best age for marriage, but there is some good data that can help young men and women and their parents. And good scholars disagree on the topic to small degrees, but there is a general window where most agree on the best age for marriage.
Getting married at a younger age may result in divorce. But waiting too long is not so right also as you might think, it could be just as problematic. The best age for marriage, with the least chances of divorce in the first five years, is 28 to 32 says Carrie, a marriage & family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic in Troy, Michigan. “Called the ‘Goldilocks theory,’ the idea is that people at this age are not too old and not too young.
At least wait until your brain stops growing
A successful relationship is built on the basis of the maturity level and understanding in both the partners which is usually attained at the age of 25. From a scientific point of view, the frontal lobe is the last stage of the brain to mature, and that maturity can happen as late as age 25 or even 30. Life decisions made before the age of 25 can be problematic because they’re made without a fully developed ability of decision making and ethical behaviour.
Don’t wait too long
Couples in their 30s are not only more mature, they are usually more educated also and tend to be economically strong and independent. (Money troubles can be a major divorce trigger.) A study for the Institute for Family Studies looked at data (2006-2010) from the National Survey of Family Growth and found, not surprisingly, that prior to age 32, each additional year of age at marriage reduces the odds of divorce by 11 percent.
However—and this differs from previous findings—the odds of divorce after age 32 or so increase by five percent per year. Since about the year 2000, the divorce risk for people who married in their 30s has flattened, rather than declining as it had done in years prior. Simply stated: Today’s couples who tie the knot after their early 30s are more likely to divorce than those who wed in their late 20s.
Single too long?
The kinds of people who wait till their 30s to get married may be the kinds of people who aren’t predisposed toward doing well in their marriages. Consequently, they delay marriage, often because they can’t find anyone willing to marry them. If someone has not considered marrying before their late 30s or into their 40s, they are less likely to give the relationship the flexibility it may need to grow.
Signs You’re Ready for Marriage
Determining whether or not you’re ready for marriage is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. So learn the 5 signs which indicate that you’re truly ready to tie the knot:
1. You truly know each other
You each genuinely see the other for who they are, and you each have accepted them as they are now, not for who you hope they will become in the future. If you’re looking to change something fundamental about your partner, that’s a red flag,” says Dr. Riordan. Truly knowing your partner also means that “you are completely aware of each other’s strengths and challenges,” he adds. “You have each opened up and shared your inner life with the other, and you have each created space to listen deeply to—and to accept fully—the good and the not-so-good.
2. You trust your partner
Having trust in one another is the foundation of any successful relationship. Without it, you may have love, but your marriage will be filled with tension. “This is so significant,” explains Sehat. “Think of any healthy relationship in your life, from significant other to a business partnership. Is there trust there?
3. Your goals align
Our lives rarely follow one straight road —they wind and twist and turn. Do you know where you’re headed? And, more importantly, have you had the talk with your partner? “It’s hard to be on the same page when you’re moving in different directions,” says Sehat. It’s not necessary to have the same goals but supporting each other must be a duty in a relationship. Being open and honest about this from the beginning will prevent a lot of frustration down the road.
4. You feel safe with them
Feeling safe and secure in the relationship will save you years of heartache when you’re married. “The foundation of this starts with lack of judgement,” says Sehat. “Can you be yourself around this individual? If you are trying your best to be someone else, I would encourage you to imagine what that would feel like for years to come. The influence on your self-esteem and anxiety this could produce.”
5. You have seen hard times
There are chances where you will face some stumbling blocks in life, so it’s important to consider whether you and your partner are prepared to battle them hand-in-hand or not. “Yes, unproblematic love and joy in a relationship can be a beautiful thing,” says Sehat. “However, tackling a difficult goal together can build so much strength and trust in a marriage.”
